Comparison can be an ugly beast if used ineffectively. In the right context, it can encourage you to see a path of growth. But, often, when used incorrectly, it can be life-draining.
Day after day, I would see how exhausted my clients were. I would ask them how their day was. Some mentioned that they were trying their best, while others felt like giving up. I often wondered why? A common theme often arose—comparison.
Researchers show that 10% of thoughts are associated with some type of comparison. The positive side is the increase in motivation. On the other hand, with this boost, deep dissatisfaction, remorse and destructive behaviours, such as lying, often came along over time (Psychology Today, 2021).
Minimizing unnecessary comparisons can help improve employees’ productivity and motivation.
If organizations can integrate best practices when giving feedback, this can promote engagement, minimize exhaustion and build resiliency.
1. Comparison robs your joy
I want you to remember the last time you compared yourself to a co-worker. What did it feel like? For some, even with the best intentions, judgment, bias or even a competitive attitude would follow.
Did you know that being grateful could help?
“Gratitude is not a by-product of happiness. Happiness is a by-product of gratitude” (Hanna, 2019). The reality is, when we compare ourselves, we are no longer grateful for where we are—only being unappreciative of the moment.
Research shows when we’re not mindful, our stress levels increase and motivation decreases (Dust, et al., 2021).
Employers should be mindful of bringing up other colleges when giving feedback, as it may decrease productivity over time.
2. It keeps you stuck in the injustice
I once had a client who came in and was distraught about a problem at work the day before. Naturally, I asked her what happened. She explained how she felt targeted and was considering leaving the job.
After listening to her story, I wondered about the intensity of her reaction versus the event. So, I gently asked her in the next session what was the worst thing about that situation for her. To my surprise, her reference point was 10 years ago.
Studies show that when employees are provoked with feelings of injustice without support, retention decreases. When participants were supported, negative emotions and rumination decreased while retention increased (Long & Christian, 2015).
Consistent check-ins can help employees become unstuck from the injustices that they have experienced.
3. It encourages surface acting
At times, depending on your work environment, surface acting can be encouraged. Surface acting is faking your emotions to get through the job.
For example, I had a client who was going through a separation but didn’t tell anyone. No one at work knew, she kept it from her family, and the only reason why she came to see me was due to her productivity slipping.
On one hand, on the surface, she appeared strong and resilient with great self-control. It was quite impressive how she managed to keep it all together. But, on the other hand, it was eating her alive, as she always felt as though she had to keep up with the partners at her firm.
A huge part of our work together was helping her to accept who she was. Seeing her value, and not placing it only within the meeting room, as she was on the brink of over-exhaustion.
Once she saw her value, she began to see the trap of comparison, how it robbed her from job satisfaction and the ability to take a break when needed.
How Can STRiVE Mental Health, Wellness & Empowerment Help?
The well-being of your employees is paramount to us.
STRiVE helps organizations develop strategies by providing tools to help employees recover from burnout and boost productivity. The goal is to provide top-quality evidence-based program development and workshops, both in person and virtually, while building long-term resilient employees.
We want to help your organization. Contact us at info@strivementalhealth.ca to learn more.
